Tuesday, May 01, 2012

We All Married Idiots:
Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can

by Elaine W. Miller

1. Did we ALL marry idiots?

 Years ago during an argument with my husband I thought, I must have been an idiot to marry this idiot! Then I burst out laughing realizing that makes me an idiot too! Later I learned the word "idiot" is derived from the Greek word "common man." When we look to our spouses to fulfill needs that only Christ can fulfill, then husbands and wives become dissatisfied with their marriages.

2. What is the purpose of We All Married Idiots?

Too many couples give up too soon for too little reason. They enter a second marriage only to realize, Ugh, this person is an idiot too! We All Married Idiots will help couples enjoy marriage as God intended.

3. What are the three things you will never change?

The first is the idiosyncrasies. We all have peculiar habits and do little things that annoy. We'd like to change our spouse's idiosyncrasies, but honestly that is not what we promised on our wedding days.
The second is sin. We all married sinners. We all sin and sin inflicts pain. There will be times you and your spouse will hurt each other.
The third is the differences. Men and women don't think the same. We have different ways of solving problems.
We All Married Idiots teaches husbands and wives to stop concentrating on the three things they will never change and focus on the ten things they can change.

4. What is your best piece of marriage advice?

In marriage we need to examine ourselves. Funny. I've read through the Bible seven times searching for a verse that says, "Examine your spouse." It's not there. But the Bible does say "examine yourself." Another word of advice is to give up your life and your marriage to God and hold on. Don't let go. The problems you have today could be gone in five or ten years. I just don't love him or her anymore is not a reason for a divorce. Husbands and wives grow up, mature, change for the better. Keep running towards the goal God has for your marriage. Of course, if you are in an abusive situation, I advise you to flee to a safe place and receive professional Christian counseling.

5. Why did you write We All Married Idiots?

I wrote We All Married Idiots to save marriages from the pain I inflicted on myself and on Dan. I wrote to glorify God and to change that awful 50% divorce rate.
We All Married Idiots is a great tool for individual study or couples to study together.  Fifty percent of our neighbors are headed for divorce. We could change that statistic by reaching out to them with a We All Married Idiots small group. The questions at the end of each chapter are not threatening and do not require a theological degree to understand. As one reviewer said, "This is the most accessible Christian book I have ever read."

6. How can We All Married Idiots be purchased?

We All Married Idiots is available on line as a print or ebook and at your local bookstore. Autographed copies can be purchased through my website,  http://www.splashesofserenity.com/  or by contacting me at SplashesofSerenity@yahoo.com.


Diane said...

Elaine is the best and I am so blessed to live near her and be a part of her critique group. Hugs :O)

Elaine W. Miller said...

Thanks Diane and thanks Mary for blogging about "We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can." May marriages be changed from the world's view to God's view. A gift too treasure.

Elaine W. Miller