How did your summer go? Anything exciting happen? Mine was busy, busy, busy, and in the next few weeks I'll be highlighting some of those events. But, I'd like to hear from you too. Post a comment and let us all know what has been happening in your life.

My brother David and sister Vivienne will be coming to Tulsa for a weekend visit and we're all looking forward to a fun time. I'll be back soon! :)

Please listen in as I'll be interviewed on WGLT Radio, Sisters on Assignment Show, 9:00 EST. I'd love to have you join us. Just click on the link www.blogtalkradio.com/wlgt

Joseph: Beyond the Coat of Many Colors

Thanks to all of you who listened to my radio interview last week. I got lots of positive emails.

As some of you many know, I'm writing an eight week Bible study on the life of the Old Testament character Joseph for AMG publishers (I don't have a release date yet, but will let you know). I think many of us know the story so well that we miss some important points that are so very applicable to our own lives. We think of Joseph from a Sunday School perspective - the coat, the pit, slavery, and the rise to vizier (prime minister) of Egypt. But there are so many exciting and fascinating details that are missed.

During the next few months, I want to blog with you about Joseph. Let's share thoughts and ideas.

Joseph was the eleventh son of twelve boys and one girl. His father Jacob had two wives who were sisters and two concubines (lesser wives). He had children by all four women. What do you think it was like growing up in that family?

Hey Everybody! Join me tonight January 7 at 6:00 pm CST for a live radio interview on my book Winning The Battle of the Bulge: It's Not Just About the Weight.

http://www.agingoutsidethebox.net/

Happy New Year to you all! I'm not crazy about resolutions, so I'm just going to say I'm going to make an effort to post more often on my blog.

I don't know how many of you are big fans of college football, but you would have to be on another planet not to have heard about Tim Tebow, the Florida Gators quarterback. My husband attended the U of F for one year, so our family are definitely Gator fans.

If you don't know much about Tim Tebow, take a moment to Google his name and read some of the articles about this fine Christian man. He characterizeds all that a Christian should be and is a wonderful role model. If you have children involved in sports, here is a man they can look up to.

Just had to share this video with you. Hope you'll take a moment to watch and listen with your heart. Do you ever struggle with forgiveness - yourself or someone else? Perhaps this will help.

http://209.200.98.30/ZenCart/preview/neverbeenunloved/nbu.htm

I have a radio interview at noon Central Time. You can listen on the Internet at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/webtv4women . If you log on early you can sign up for a free account and join us in the Chat room, and call in with comments or questions at: 347-215-7328

WebTV4Women on Blog Talk Radio
Source: www.blogtalkradio.com
The official Talk Radio Station for WebTV4Women

Below is an interview by Cara Putman with author Sara Mills - enjoy!



***NOTE: Sara Mills, whose new book Miss Match (to follow the first release, Miss Fortune) from Moody Press, has just lost her husband to a heart attack. Please pray for her and her children as we help her promote her new book. Thanks to Cara Putman for allowing us to use her excellent interview. You can find Sara at http://www.saramillsbooks.com/.

Miss Fortune and Miss Match are delightful books set in NYC in 1947. Tell us how you got the idea for Allie and these books...

I got the idea for Miss Fortune in the middle of the night, when all good ideas come to me:One sleepless night I was watching The Maltese Falcon and I started to wonder how different the story would be if Sam Spade had been a woman. She'd never have fallen for Miss Wunderly's charms and lies. She'd have been smart and tough and she would have solved the case in half the time it took Sam because she wouldn't spend all of her time smoking cigarettes and calling her secretary Precious.

The thought of a hard-boiled female detective got my mind whirling.I paused the movie and sat in my darkened living room thinking about how much fun a female Sam Spade could be.

Intrigued but not yet ready to dash to my computer, I changed disks and put on Casablanca (my all time favorite movie ever). The sweeping love story, a tale full of hard choices and sacrifice was what finally made the whole idea click in my mind. If I could just combine the P.I. detective story of the Maltese Falcon with the love story from Casablanca, and make Sam Spade more of a Samantha, I could have the best of all worlds.

These books are so good, I wish I'd written them. How did you set the stage to capture that gritty PI feel without being dark?

I find that a lot of PI stories are gritty and dark, focusing on the worst of the humanity, and while I wanted the Allie Fortune mysteries to be exciting and tension-filled I didn’t want them to be stark and hopeless.One of the things I tried to do to counteract the darkness was to give Allie a multi-layered life. She has cases, relationships, friends and family, all of which I hope combine to make the stories textured, rich and full of life.

Allie is a character I'd love to have coffee with. What did she teach you while you wrote these books?

Allie was a great character to write. One of the things I learned from her was that human relationships (man/woman, mother/daughter, friends) are complicated and full of unspoken rules and expectations. Allie is a rule-breaker at heart and it complicates her life on a regular basis. One of the storylines I loved most is Allie’s relationship with her mother and how it grows and changes and how it’s shaped her.Another dimension of Allie’s character that really taught me a lot was her willingness to do whatever was needed to help those she loves. There is no price on that kind of friendship and it’s a characteristic I’d like to see more of in myself. Okay I admit it, I’ve got a bit of a friend-crush on Allie. LOL.

One last question: If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would that be and who would you take with you?

If I could go anywhere right now I’d head to Monterey, California (I’m writing a book set there right now) and I’d plant myself on the beach with a notebook, writing my story as the waves crashed. Sounds like my idea of heaven on earth. There’s something about the wind-shaped Cypress trees and the crash of the surf in Monterey that calls to me. I don’t know why, it just is.

Two days ago, March 23, my husband and I celebrated thirty-seven years of marriage. In this day and age that's a long time. We went out to dinner with friends who were also celebrating an anniversary, played a game with them, and then watched some TV.

It wasn't particularly exciting, but it made me think about our relationship with the Lord. It isn't always fireworks, but isn't it nice to just be secure in Him? How nice to relax with the One who knows me so well.

Yesterday I was watching television and noticing how many ads there are in regard to weight loss - exercise equipment, special low calorie foods, and appetite suppressants galore. I wonder how many of those celebrities and other people will gain back their weight when they return to eating regular food or quit taking their diet pills. Sadly, I think it will be nearly all of them.

Then I realized that the Lord has given us very special appetite suppressants that are with us all the time in the form of the Holy Spirit, and the armor of God in Ephesians 6. Our problem is that we don't listen to the Holy Spirit and we selectively put on the armor!

Listen up and get dressed!

Have a great day!

This has been an exciting month for me in regard to my speaking engagements. I was blessed to speak to a group of ladies in Neodesha, Kansas. The setting was a charming Victorian Bed and Breakfast and the ladies came from several different churches. Their desire is to grow in their relationship with the Lord and they are committed to meeting together each week for a Bible study. I am blessed that they will be using my book and workbook as their guide for the next twelve weeks. Here's the great part! Even though many of them are not trying to lose weight (my book is called "Winning the Battle of the Bulge: It's Not Just About the Weight") they understand that the principles in the book apply to every area of their lives.

I'll let you know about my other speaking engagement later in the week.

Happy New Year to you all! It's that time of year when we are all making resolutions, and right at the top of the list is - LOSE WEIGHT!

This year why don't you try something different? Why not change your heart before you try to change your eating habits? If you don't change the way you think you will not be able to permanently change the way you act. Our hearts need to be focused on a life of obedience, not a temporary diet.

Speaking Schedule

2009

January 10
Independent Women's Group
Neodesha, Kansas

January 15
Single Moms
Bartlesville, Oklahoma

January 20
Oasis Radio Interview

April 3 & 4
Salina Bible Church Ladies Retreat
Salina, Kansas

April 24 - 26
Maranatha Bible Camp
Annual Women's Retreat
Maxwell, Nebraska

September 11 & 12
Community Bible Church
Kennesaw, Georgia

October 10-12
Countryside Community Church
Langhorne, Pennsylvania

I appreciate the concern stated by a reader in the comment to my last posting. I would like to make it clear that my intention was not to insinuate that I have "arrived" in any way. I still struggle with my weight every day of my life, and I realize it's a life-long battle. The point I was trying to make in my article in The Voice magazine is that whether we like it or not, and whether it's right or not, leaders in the church are sometimes judged by outward appearances, and should do their best to avoid a reason for criticism.

I recently had an article published in the Voice magazine, a publication of the IFCA International. It is an edited excerpt from my book Winning the Battle of the Bulge: It's Not Just About the Weight. Hope you enjoy it, and I invite you to post your comments.

Practicing What You Preach
by
Mary Englund Murphy

If you want to make an impact in another person’s life, back up your words with your behavior. In other words, practice what you preach!

Nothing will destroy credibility in the church faster than hypocrisy—saying one thing but living another. As church leaders, are we guilty of hypocrisy? Do the people under your leadership feel you’re telling them what to do, but you’re not doing it yourself?

I recently conducted a survey on weight loss with nearly one hundred Christians. Repeatedly, people said they had trouble sitting under the leadership of a pastor or other church leader who was overweight. When asked why, the answer was always the same. “I have a hard time listening to someone telling me to let God develop self-control in my life when it’s obvious they haven’t let Him control their eating habits.”
Ouch! The truth hurts, doesn’t it?

Church leaders—pastors in particular—face unique pressures and temptations when it comes to food. It seems like their world revolves around food. If food isn’t served at Bible study or church, someone invites you out to a restaurant after services. Food is offered in homes on visitation, and well-meaning ladies bake your favorite dessert. Doughnuts are a Sunday morning staple, and with no time for breakfast, you grab one—or two—or three. The temptations are endless, and soon you’ve added twenty-five pounds, then fifty!

A 1998 study by Purdue University professor Kenneth Ferraro found that Christians are more likely to be overweight than those persons of other faiths. Why? The simple answer is that our fellowship time revolves around food, but the hard answer is that we have not developed discipline and self-control in the area of our eating and exercise habits.
Though rewarding, ministry is often difficult. We can do everything seemingly right and still people find fault. We are judged and scrutinized in every area—the cars we drive, our children’s behavior, our home, our clothes, and yes, even how much we weigh.
It would be nice if people got to know how wonderful and spiritual we are before they passed an opinion. But unfortunately, we are often first judged by our physical appearance.

A church member in our first pastorate told me she voted for Bill when we came because she thought we were an attractive couple. I thought, What about our education and ministry experience? Didn’t that count? Though her opinion was positive, it disturbed me that our outward appearance had affected her judgment. But I learned a good lesson. We don’t have to look like we stepped out of a magazine advertisement, yet our outer appearance should be neat, clean and reasonably up–to-date. Our appearance should never detract from the message God wants to tell through us.

“That’s not right,” you say. “Leaders shouldn’t be judged harsher than others.” Right or not, it goes with leadership. As a ministry leader, don’t you want the first impression of you, your church, and your ministry to be positive? And, before you criticize the critics, aren’t you sometimes guilty of judging others by appearance and acting on first impressions?

We keep our church buildings clean and in good repair. Why? Because outward appearance matters; first impressions make a difference. We want people to think, I would like to visit that church. I can tell the people care.

On Sunday morning we want the ushers and musicians ready, and the sound system clear. We want neat bulletins, cheerful nursery workers, and clean bathrooms. Why? We don’t want anything to detract from the message!

The outward condition of our church building and the organization of our church service is a direct reflection of the inward condition of the leadership, the congregation, and the Lord.

Your outward condition is a direct reflection of your inward condition, too. Why risk jeopardizing God’s message with lack of self-control in your eating?

Let me share two stories from women who honestly faced their eating problem.

“I speak to audiences that number in the thousands, and I know the moment I walk to the platform my appearance detracts from my message,” Jill told me. “People in the audience take one look at me, and think she is really fat. They have to get over that hurdle before they can listen to what I say. I know God is using my message, but I also know he could do more through me if I could lose my excess weight. Please, can you tell me more about your eating program? I need help.”

Jill was well dressed, stylishly coiffed, and had a beautiful face, yet she painfully acknowledged her weight was a detriment to her ministry.

Monica counseled a teenage girl who was involved in a sexual affair. During one of the counseling sessions, the girl looked Monica straight in the face and said, “My problem is I’m having sex outside of marriage; your problem is you’re fat. When you’ve taken care of your problem then you can come back and talk to me about mine!”

Monica acknowledged her gluttony and lost more than fifty pounds.

You can make excuses for your self-indulgence, call those who criticize immature Christians, and quote a few choice Bible verses. Or, you can say, “They’re right,” and do something about it. I hope you will make the right choice, just as you would expect of those under your leadership.

Change begins at the top. Below are some challenges for those in leadership positions—senior pastor, Sunday School teacher, sound person, maintenance worker, musician, office worker, or attendee.
Lovingly address the issue of obesity and its prevalence in the church. I often hear speakers joke about their weight. Why, I’ve wondered, do they want to make light of this issue? If they had a problem with alcohol, they wouldn’t joke about that. Obesity is not a laughing matter; it is a serious problem that touches a person physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and the church needs to address it.

Knowing that the body of a believer is the temple of the Holy Spirit and belongs to the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:19. 20), teach the inestimable value of exercise and eating healthy foods. We spend a great deal of time teaching about the new body we’ll have in heaven, yet don’t care for the old one here on earth.

Encourage healthy meal preparation at home and church. Church functions are not an excuse for gluttony, but rather a time to enjoy fellowship and God’s gift of food in moderate portions. Christians should be an example to the world, not the object of jokes and ridicule.

Encourage families to spend time together exercising, preparing and planning meals, and fellowshipping at the dinner table. Many families eat in front of the television or eat on the run because their lives are consumed with activities.

Be an example. 2 Timothy 4:12 tells leaders to be an example in word, actions, and teaching. Your actions will speak far louder than your words. Leading by example in obedience to the Lord by developing healthy eating and exercise habits will give you insight into the personal needs of others.

If you have a weight problem, acknowledge it, and take steps to fight your own battle. People love a humble leader. You will earn respect and establish personal credibility while strengthening the effectiveness of your ministry. Don’t allow Satan to use your weight to detract from the message of the gospel.

Recognize that the unique pressures on leadership are contributing factors in the number of overweight Christian leaders. Learn to “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

Do not turn to food for comfort and release. Smoking and drinking alcohol are not acceptable forms of stress relief in most Christian circles; hence, people turn to food. Though God condemns gluttony along with drunkenness (Proverbs 23:20-21), the former has become socially acceptable in our churches, and often leaders are sad examples of its effects.

If you don’t have a weight problem, be compassionate toward those who do. Help guide them into a program that will provide Biblical answers, encouragement, and prayerful support.


This article is being used by permission of IFCA Internationa (www.ifca.org), VOICE magazine, May/June 2007, Vol. 86 No. 3. All material is copyrighted. Contact IFCA International for permission to use this material.

A lot of exciting things have happened since my last posting. I had the opportunity to speak at a library in Nebraska and do a book signing. Then, it was on to Denver, Colorado where I attended the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association conference with nearly 100 fellow writers and speakers. Two days later I had a book signing at the International Christian Retailers Show at the Denver Convention Center. The book orders are steady from Amazon. com and my website. Please check us out at www.WinningtheBattleoftheBulge.com.

For those in the Tulsa, OK area, we are planning to start a new Winning the Battle of the Bulge weight loss group in September. If you are interested in attending, please contact me through the website www.winningthebattleofthebulge.com and I will give you more information. I would also be glad to give help and advice to anyone wanting to start a group in their area.

This is from one of the ladies in our battle group. "I began the "Winning the Battle of the Bulge" program over a year ago and I've lost over 70 pounds. I have a long way to go, but I'm still battling. The character development has been life-changing for me, and I'm applying it to other areas of my life. "
Kim from Tulsa